Well, I’d like to offer a brief description of what I understand “wounded child healing” to be.

[Note: I’m re-publishing this article as it is still relevant till today;-)]

What is Wounded Child Healing

The “wounded child” is an archetype which contains damaged or negative emotional patterns of our youth. It may help to improve your understanding if we can draw reference from the lyrics to the song “Childhood” by Michael Jackson…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
People say I’m strange that way
‘Cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the Childhood I’ve never known…

Loving The Wounded Child

Loving the wounded child is about healing ourselves through acknowledging the trauma and hurt that we suffered when we were young and then freeing ourselves from them. As adults, we unconsciously allowed these memories to dictate how we run our lives. Our coping mechanisms were meant to protect us at one stage but they may no longer serve us.

Here is something for you to think about…

The outer story of your adult life, thus far, reflects the inside story of your wounded child.

We hold dysfunctional self images through the stories of our childhood. How we perceive ourselves is pretty much driven by the childhood programming that we have had. Our childhood programming is largely influenced by our caregivers, who represented the world to us while we were young. We form relationships based on what we learn from our parents. Our parents in turn learn about theirs from their parents. So it is in us that we have layers and layers of beliefs, patterns and behavior passed down from generation to generation.

Yet, as much as not wishing to be like any of our parents, we may find ourselves having adopted the same patterns, behavior and attitudes. It often comes as no surprise to some of us on how we end up in similar patterns. We may not recognize it at first but the patterns are the same recurring themes.

Negative patterns essentially bear the same emotional pain energy even though they may take on different forms. Anorexia, obesity or alcoholism may be traced to negative self images perpetuated by our parents during our younger days. It is possible that our current feelings of rejection originate from childhood.

While there are the rare courageous few who rise above their traumas, the vast majority of us carry the wounds of our childhood around. The same patterns manifest in every aspect of our lives; at home, in the office; in the relationships we have with our spouses, kids, parents or friends; or even physically.

Wounded Child Healing: Releasing the Trauma

Indeed, the wounds of your inner child can create much havoc in the relationships you have with yourself and others. Through healing, you confront the archetypal force within your psyche. With confronting rather than stifling the voice, you release the emotional charge that your wounded child holds on to. You recognize that you have been compelled to grow up too fast.

Carrying the baggage of an openly wounded child keeps you living in the past. You keep alive the story of your past of abandonment, abuse, betrayal, rejection, guilt and shame. Your energy resonates the same vibrational pattern. If you have ever wondered why you attract the same type of experiences, herein lies the reason why.

Your wounded child has no awareness of spiritual lessons. He or she may want to stay hurt, angry and vindictive even. You will need to release the energetic story of your wounded child. As long as you allow your wounded child to be in the driver’s seat, you operate from the same helpless space.

Wounded child healing means caring for yourself so that the things of the past no longer hurt you. You realize your need for healing because you are only hurting yourself most of all, when you carry the baggage around. You do this by acknowledging the wounded child within. You call up the little kid for the unfinished business of loving, nurturing and embracing him or her.

You may initially feel resistant to releasing yourself from the pain of your childhood story. You have identified with it for so long that you suspect you will feel lost without one. After all, you need someone or something to take the blame for your current dysfunctional self or life. You are filled with a sense of righteous anger towards your parents, family or friends for the person you have now become.

Giving up the story is going to put you in great discomfort. Your childhood story is essentially a collection of thoughts of the past. You have to realize that you cannot hope to create an empowering life if you do not first release your attachment to an old script.

Freeing Your Wounded Child

For wounded child healing, you may be invited to explore forgiveness. You work on forgiving yourself by letting your inner child that it is not her fault. Also, you may consider if you are willing to forgive those who could have contributed to the situation that you are now in.

Taking one or two steps back potentially gives you a clearer picture. For instance, it allows you to see whether your parents have also been emotionally hurt as a result of their own childhood experiences. They have unconsciously inflicted on you what they have suffered as children.

It also boils down to choice. Think about it this way. Decide which you would rather have: continued pain or ultimate freedom?

Your Thoughts Please

I wrote this article in a series of thoughts on self discovery. My thoughts were sparked due to my own personal healing experiences. [Update] I now offer private sessions where we work on healing and reparenting the wounded child. To find out more about working together, apply for a discovery call here.

Over to you. Do you carry around with you a wounded child? What does your inner child say? If you have dealt with wounded or inner child issues, do share what has worked for you.

In Loving Kindness,
Evelyn Lim

That was when I discovered about labelling emotions. I also found out hat emotions have meanings and that they convey our deepest needs and desires. Gradually, I learned to sit with my feelings; instead of running away from them. And, I learned about observing them without judgment. As time went on, I was better able to develop greater self-compassion and awareness. My well-being improved, as a result. 

Building Emotional Awareness: Feelings and Their Meanings

My chart offers a guide that could indicate what the various emotions broadly mean. I would ask myself what my unmet need is. By attending to my unmet need, healing becomes a lot more targetted and effective. 

Strive to Build Emotional Awareness

Your emotions provide feedback on how you can realign yourself.

Work on releasing your negative emotions (such as with EFT tapping), so that you can create a positive shift.

Strive for emotional authenticity, honoring the full spectrum of your feelings without judgment or self-censure. Through increased self-understanding, your ability to build empathy and a deeper connection with others increases. By embracing your emotions, you cultivate self-love and acceptance and develop greater resilience in life.

To your well-being
Evelyn Lim
Transformation Life Coach

Well, I’d like to share my answers with you here, in case you are wondering the same too. 

EFT Tapping for Raising Vibrations

In case this is the first time you are hearing about EFT tapping, it is a therapeutic method where we use the fingertips to tap on specific meridian endpoints on the face and body. EFT tapping is a great tool for releasing emotional disruptions and restoring the body’s energy system. You can find out more about EFT tapping points here or simply subscribe to my newsletter to get a downloadable book on EFT tapping. 

Emotions, just like anything else in the Universe, are energy.

If you have negative emotions, they cause a disruption in your body and create blocks in the energy flow. By tapping on specific meridian points while focusing on the negative emotion, you can effectively release the blockages, allowing energy to flow freely again.

The idea of “raising vibration” happens when you shift your emotional state from a lower vibrational frequency (associated with positive emotions such as fear, anger, or doubt) to a higher vibrational frequency (associated with negative emotions such as joy, love, or gratitude).

After releasing the emotional disruptions, you are likely to find it easier to experience a shift in perspective to a more empowering and supportive one. What’s more, the EFT tapping process often incorporates positive affirmations or statements to counteract negative beliefs or emotions. While tapping, you get to reinforce positive thinking patterns; which contributes to raising your vibrations. Both your thoughts and feelings influence your energy state, after all. 

Raise Your Vibration to Attract What You Want 

Raising your vibration helps to raise your ability to attract an outcome that matches the same frequency.

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” ~ quote often attributed to Albert Einstein

It’s also what the Law of Attraction is about – like attracts like. 

Chances are, the outcomes that you want are situations that energetically have higher vibrations – results or things that are about love, joy and blessings.

If what you want is more money, income or riches, it boils down to how having this is going to enrich your life. This ONE secret is how my clients have been able to make money or sales breakthroughs. 

In short, raise your vibrations to attract what you want in life and one great way to raise your frequency is via using EFT tapping.

If you have more questions, do ask. Get on a call with me here. I’d love to be able to help you with your questions. 

Love and abundance always, 
Evelyn Lim
Transformation Life Coach

Even though the past traumatic experience is now over, our nervous system continues to use the encoded information that is from the distressing memory to disrupt us today. 

Let me attempt to explain further. Say, you find yourself experiencing anxiety symptoms such as nervous tension, dizziness, an inability to keep still or even having meltdowns. If you are to trace back the earliest time when you first had these symptoms, you may realise that your problem originated from the past. Your body is responding or reacting today from what took place years ago. This being the case, it is drawing information from the past and activating your nervous system. Using the picture, you will see how the “zzz” energy disruption is affecting you. 

Your nervous system signals a lack of safety, triggering the instinct to protect yourself often through fight, flight or freeze response. You are also apt to undertake behavioural patterns that put you in self-sabotage. Thus, despite your desire to lead your best life or to move forward, you remain captive to your past.

Note that past trauma need not be big events such as a death, divorce, sexual assault and so on. So long as the event or incident causes you emotional distress, you could potentially be disrupted for years. For example, if your mother ignored your cries for help in the past, the lack of love and feeling unworthy could affect you. And if she had repeatedly ignored you during childhood, you might find yourself always needing to seek approval and ending up in unhealthy relationships. 

How You Can Reverse Self-Sabotage

Fortunately, while you can’t alter the past traumatic events since they happened the way they did, you can still change the energetic information bringing about the distress that is affecting you today.

Since the body keeps the score, a somatic release and the calming of your nervous system is required. You work on clearing the “zzz” energy disruption. Once it is cleared, your past memory may remain but you are not longer affected by what took place in the past. Thus, if you’d like a more effective way of stopping the automatic responses and to reprogram a different response such that you are no longer having nervous tension and so on, the body and the nervous system need to be involved. This is why talk therapy alone is not effective for cases of deep-rooted anxiety, anger or depression. 

By releasing the energetic information and releasing the embodied distress at the root memory when your trauma first began, it becomes possible to free yourself. No longer holding on bottled-up anger and anxiety, you start to feel lighter and better. It’s how you can become more present and gain the freedom to pursue the life that you want. 
Hope the above information is helpful to you. 

Wishing you well-being,
Evelyn Lim
Transformation Life
To find out more about working together, apply for a Discovery Call. 

Do you go over “poor me”, “poor me” and “poor me” in your mind?

You could also be repeating the same thing to the people that you meet too.

“Poor me” is akin to having a victim mentality. You are in self-pity. A “poor me” syndrome arises especially when you are constantly pointing blame outwards. It could be the fault of your grandmother, father, the government, the economy and so on. It is always the fault of someone or something else except yours.

[Side-note] This post is updated as the content is still relevant today.

“Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.” John W. Gardner

When you think “poor me”, you find yourself realising situations of poor and poverty at the physical level. Thoughts become things, after all. And you know how it is like when you have a sequence of thoughts that are negative. You start to spiral downwards. Over time, you feel more and more miserable and poor and poorer. Invariably, your situation gets worse and worse.

You may not recognise yourself as having a “poor me” syndrome at first. It could be subtle behind your complaints that “life is hard” or that “life is unfair”. But “poor me” could be the unsaid thought that lies beneath the blame that you feel for the outside world. It happens when you pine for sympathy for your situation.

Playing Out the Poor Me Syndrome – Different Scenarios

Unfortunately, there are many women who fall into the category of “poor me”. They crave for a sense of belonging in sisterhoods. Their idea is to come together to complain and compare who has the worst stories. They are great hosts of pity parties that are long-drawn.

Maybe you are thinking if you whine “poor me”, none of your friends will borrow money from you. You don’t want others to know that you actually have excess money in the bank or that you have just gotten promoted with a nice pay rise. However, holding on to such thoughts is not promoting a sense of growth.

When you blame others, you are saying that you are not responsible. You are not taking charge. In other words, you are giving your power away.

You could be feeling justified anger because it is the government, the tax department or the economy that you are blaming – factors that are outside your control. Then again, should you lay blame on any of these authorities, you are basically allowing an external party or force to determine your happiness or level of wealth. It is still giving power away.

Get Over Your “Poor Me” Mentality

The only “thing” that you can control or change is you and your perspective. You always have a choice in how you intend to view your situation.

Blame obstructs the flow of abundance into your life. It does not serve you in any way. Wallowing in self-pity is not attractive in the least. If you have been around people who are blaming others all the time, you will know how toxic blame can be. You don’t win by playing victim, you win only when you take charge of your power to create and to manifest the life that you want.

Prosperity is a state of mind. Instead of “poor me”, think “rich me”. Focus on the blessings in your life and by virtue of the law of attraction, you will start to draw more blessings into your life.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” Brian Tracy

Love and Abundance Always,
Evelyn Lim
Transformation Life Coach 

Share Your Thoughts

Any comments on the “poor me syndrome”? If so, share below.

What I found out about trauma is this: Trauma isn’t something that is just in your head or mind. It’s not just a past memory.

In fact, it is stored in the habitual reflexive state of your nervous system. It is in your heart, head, your stomach, arms, legs..all the sensory information that got coded. They manifest in an overreactive response to stress today: racing heart, shallow breathing, nausea, indigestion, trembling hands, blurred vision, etc.

For trauma recovery, it helps to remember: not just your head or mind, every part of your body was there in the past.

Why Knowing That Trauma is Also Stored in the Body Matters

If we believe that trauma to be just a past memory, we would try to resolve our issues in the mind or head…or even through the feelings that arise as we recall what took place. This being the case, we would seek the help of a counsellor, coach or practitioner – those who are trained in talk therapy to help us process our thoughts and feelings. Certainly, talking about our issues rather than bottling our emotions can help us feel better. 

However, with the realisation that trauma could also be stored in the body, it would help if we take the extra step of addressing the sensory information that got coded; so that our nervous system no longer automatically reacts in the same habitual way. Hence, it makes perfect sense to address past trauma using practices that are somatic or movement based. Practices such as yoga or dance therapy,  are known to help the body release excess tension and for the body to feel more at ease.

However, while movement-based practices are great, they may not directly address what is going on psychologically especially where there has been past trauma. Which is why after having explored different forms of healing and therapy modalities myself, I’d like to recommend my discovery for using this as a core solution: EFT tapping. 

The Case for EFT Tapping and for Addressing Past Trauma 

EFT tapping is a therapeutic modality that helps the body’s energy system to be restored. It involves using the finger tips to tap on specific meridian points on the face and body for emotional release and processing of thoughts and beliefs. It may not be a miracle cure but EFT tapping innately combines many elements: somatic, mindfulness, TCM meridian system, neuroscience and western psychology. As it is evidence-based, it has been found that EFT tapping can help when the body keeps the score. 

From being a skeptic, I am now very passionate in sharing how EFT tapping can benefit someone. It’s a wonderful self-help technique that also offers opportunities for deep transformation to take place.

The memory of the past trauma may remain but the emotional and sensory charge can be nullified from applying transformational EFT tapping.

Ultimately, mind-body-spirit wellness is better attained with doing EFT tapping and also adding somatic or movement exercises such as yoga or dance.  

By freeing yourself from the chains of the past at mind-body-spirt levels, you are better able to be in the present and to truly move forward.  

Apply for a discovery call with me if you’d like to find out more about how we can work together in letting go of past trauma. 

Love and abundance always, 
Evelyn Lim

Glimmers are moments that act as cues for self-regulation and for soothing our nervous system. They are tiny moments where we feel relaxed, safe, assured and connected. In contrast triggers cause us to feel threatened. When we are triggered badly, our fight-flight-freeze response can get excessively activated and our nervous system becomes deregulated. 

The concept of glimmers first came from Polyvagal theory.  The theory was introduced by Stephen Porges in 1995 where we learn about how our autonomic nervous system is constantly on the lookout for cues to determine if they are dangerous. “Glimmers” is coined by Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker who specialises in complex trauma and also the author of The Polyvagal Therory in Therapy, as a way to help us shift out of survival mode. 

In glimmers, we are invited to appreciate the simple pleasures that often go unnoticed in our lives; such as, the gentle breeze or the peace in our surroundings. What’s involved is taking a mindful pause as we tune into the moment of now. Glimmers aren’t necessarily big experiences of joy but subtle tiny moments that help us conjure a sense of calm and serenity. We are able to bask in feelings and sensations that help our nervous system to operate in a state of balance. 

Understanding what glimmers are about is crucial. The idea is to recognise small positive moments repeatedly that eventually shapes our nervous system to safety and connection. Glimmers gently help us to rewire the mind, with the realisation that just as there are traumas, there are also moments of wellness. Because they often go unnoticed, setting an intention to find glimmers can be helpful! 

Examples of Glimmers 

Glimmers can be found in everyday life. Examples of glimmer moments are many. You can find them in

• listening to your favourite music over the radio
• feeling the sand on your feet while taking a walk on the beach
• basking in nature
• playing with your dog
• taking in the aroma of freshly baked bread.  
  

What’s important is tuning in, engaging your senses and embodying the experience – even if it is a tiny moment. 

My Glimmer Moment

Since I found out about what glimmers are, I started to notice them. However, there was one magical moment that stood out for me. It happened when I was in Bali. 

Even though it was a warm day, the lapping of small waves in the pool lent a cooling effect. All was quiet amidst the lush green surroundings. In that moment, stress completely vanished. Instead, I tapped into ease, relaxation and safety, and the sensing that my world is okay.  

I created a short video on what glimmers are. View the video on youtube shorts here! 

Find Your Glimmers

I’d like to invite you to find your glimmers today. What are moments that can help you regulate your nervous system with a sense of calm, safety and connection? 

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn Lim

You may be praying for some signs from heaven but you’ve barely heard a squawk. Perhaps you’ve secretly been hoping for some iron-clad assurance that will allay your fears of making a mistake or going down the wrong path but that would be wishful thinking! 

Alas, it doesn’t work that way. I’ve been in the same shoes and what I’ve discovered is this: you can wait for assurance but so long as you don’t trust or believe, the dream that you want to see happen will not take place. Nothing would have moved or changed very much. 

Instead, the Universe is saying, trust first with aligned actions and the manifestation will follow. 

Message from the Universe about Manifestation

There has to be trust. 

With trust, you commit by taking the first few steps. 

If you are wondering if you should change careers, it may be that you need to attend a workshop to acquire new skills for a start. 

If you are wondering if your business idea is going to work, it may be that you need to do some sample testing first. 

If you are wondering if you should publish a book, you may start by writing a few lines of content. It’s exactly what I went through. I was going back and forth in my mind, “should I” and “should I not”. Until I made up my mind by taking a few steps by writing an outline. 

The Universe wants to know that you are committed. It can only know this when you invest your energy through actions. Your actions need to be aligned with your goal or vision. The trust that you have comes from a deep inner knowing that you will always be supported, no matter what. In fact, the more massive the actions you take, the more feedback that you’d receive from the Universe. 

And so, you may ask, “wouldn’t taking actions seem self-fulfilling?”

In a way, yes! 

However, what often follows is a series of synchronistic events, great opportunities and amazing resources that the universe sends to you in a manner that is magical! 

So, say “yes” to receiving them all!

And if things are not turning out well after you’ve taken some steps, simply trust that there will be growth or that you’d acquire new lessons in the process. 

Trust first and the manifestation will follow!

Love and Abundance always, 
Evelyn Lim 
Alchemy Life Coaching
P.S. Encountering blocks to manifesting your goals or dream? Find out more about working together by applying for a discovery call with me. Click here! 

Well, a deer in the forest instantly senses fear. 

It is most likely to be prancing, kicking, shaking and chattering thrice as much in nervous tension.

In fact, most wild animals react in the same manner when they are feeling scared. They can’t keep still. Moving around helps them to discharge the negative energy from their bodies.

However, humans are taught differently.

When we are in fear, we are taught to suppress our emotions.

We have been told to just “suck it up” and to put up a brave front.

The problem is that when we do this, fear gets trapped in the body.

Negative consequences arise when fear and/or other emotions get stuck. From having accumulated baggage, we go into excessive reactions; such as, rage, or we are unable to function. Our well-being reduces.  According to natural health experts, diseases can also develop over time. 

Latest research already shows how trauma is imprinted on our genetic DNA at the cellular level. It means that past generational trauma can be passed into our own genetic code. Thus, we inherit the trauma and fear from our parents, grandparents and previous generations if nothing yet has been done for release.

Just talking about our fears or problems with someone offers relief but because the body is not engaged, change is often limited and on the surface.

Any unresolved deep fear is still trapped at the somatic/physical level.
Hence, if we want to be more effective in our efforts in releasing deep fear or trauma, we need to engage the body while processing our emotions.

Learn from the animals and not simply “suck it up”.

Release the trapped emotions or energy from the body and make a cognitive integrative shift, for healing to be more complete. Read this related article on how EFT tapping can help when the body keeps the score.

When you heal, you are not just doing it for yourself but for all future generations.

If you’d like to find out about working together on emotional healing and release, reach out to me here. 

To your well-being, 
Evelyn Lim 
Coach for Women
Accredited EFT Practitioner
Emotional Healing Specialist

Photo taken at Nara Deer Park, Japan

Have you watched the movie, Everything Everywhere All at Once? 

I had the opportunity to watch the show on the Singapore Airlines flight I was on while traveling to Japan. 

Well, Everything Everywhere All at Once gives us a peak at first about how one often defaults to getting by and living an ordinary existence. Indeed, for the protagonist (Evelyn Wang played by Michelle Yeoh), there is nothing more certain than having to plough through piles of bills to compile taxes, cleaning other people’s laundry, and taking care of a grumpy aged parent. Beneath the relentless rush to fulfil chores, life is about needing to please, meeting societal expectations, and also keeping up with the ridiculous facade that all is well. 

It would take a fantastical trip through the layers of the multiverse for Evelyn to gather some important lessons. Suddenly, she had to question all that she knew about life. While jumping in the multiverse, she had to find herself, reconcile with lost dreams, and review her choices. Through it all, Evelyn had to discover meaning in the time-space reality that she is in. 

Lessons on Choices and Potentiality

What struck me about Everything Everywhere All at Once are the metaphysical lessons.

For one, we find out that there are consequences with each choice made and as such, there are also unique versions of the same “Evelyn” for each verse or dimension. Some versions of “Evelyn” appear to be living a life where she is maximising her potential and some, seemingly not. In the life of which this movie is based on, she hasn’t been?-?until she is made aware that she has a lot more potential that she realised.

Which leads me to wonder, what are the other versions of me like?

Who am I in each parallel timeline? 

What choices am I making that are different from the current reality that I am in? 

Am I also a wife, mother, coach and author in other time-space realities?

Obviously, without the ability to do a quantum jump, I wouldn’t know for sure. However, based on all the metaphysical teachings I have learnt so far, it appears that there could be multiple versions of me. Coincidentally, I’m also called Evelyn. My akashic guides would also have me know that parallel timelines exist and there are more Evelyn versions of myself. 

What I have gathered from Everything Everywhere All At Once is this: We are of pure potential. 

It’s up to us to sculpt and design our lives. Whichever timeline or verse we are in, we have to believe in ourselves. We have the power to transcend our limitations, make life-affirming choices and to change the reality we are in. 

Lessons on Interconnection

Then, there is also the lesson on interconnection. It’s about how every relationship, event and things are linked to one another, in time and space. What happens in one verse or dimension affects another. And it can happen instantaneously. 

So the question becomes, what can I do or be in the time-space reality I am in that will lead to positive consequences in the other verses or dimensions? One answer remains clear. 

Making the choice to lead an authentic and conscious life. 

It involves clearing generational karma, letting go of emotional pain, applying big doses of forgiveness and prioritising love and kindness. 

In fact, it involves becoming and being the best version of myself. 

Ultimately, energy – that is transformative – ripples through every layer, space and timeline of the multiverse that we are in. 

It’s exactly how energy healing works! 

Everything is Energy

The movie Everything Everywhere All at Once may offer a crazy vibe, with each version or layer of the universe being imaginatively different and in how each character is being portrayed. However, for me, it is not just a story about a wild adventure by the protagonist. During the adventure, she had to answer the call to explore her deepest emotions in the midst of extreme chaos. 

The metaphysical lessons are profound. They are backed by the truth that everything is energy and that there is an omnipresent awareness that unifies all of existence. Put more simply, not just about the need for self-discovery, I learned about how lives are interconnected and how they can change.

Very importantly, change starts with this version of me. If life has been dull, it is up to me to apply meaning and purpose. There is also the gentle reminder that there is strength in kindness. Since everything is energy, I can surely affect and bring about improved outcomes through all layers and parallel timelines of my existence. Right here, right now – the potential is beyond limits.

Love and Abundance Always, Evelyn Lim Abundance Coach

P.S. Enjoyed this article? Share it with your friends on social media 🙂 

P.S.S. Need help in clearing self-sabotaging programs, limiting beliefs and generational patterns? Would like to work with a coach that a passion in energy healing, quantum field and spiritual consciousness,? Apply for a discovery call here.