Well, I’d like to offer a brief description of what I understand “wounded child healing” to be.

[Note: I’m re-publishing this article as it is still relevant till today;-)]

What is Wounded Child Healing

The “wounded child” is an archetype which contains damaged or negative emotional patterns of our youth. It may help to improve your understanding if we can draw reference from the lyrics to the song “Childhood” by Michael Jackson…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
People say I’m strange that way
‘Cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the Childhood I’ve never known…

Loving The Wounded Child

Loving the wounded child is about healing ourselves through acknowledging the trauma and hurt that we suffered when we were young and then freeing ourselves from them. As adults, we unconsciously allowed these memories to dictate how we run our lives. Our coping mechanisms were meant to protect us at one stage but they may no longer serve us.

Here is something for you to think about…

The outer story of your adult life, thus far, reflects the inside story of your wounded child.

We hold dysfunctional self images through the stories of our childhood. How we perceive ourselves is pretty much driven by the childhood programming that we have had. Our childhood programming is largely influenced by our caregivers, who represented the world to us while we were young. We form relationships based on what we learn from our parents. Our parents in turn learn about theirs from their parents. So it is in us that we have layers and layers of beliefs, patterns and behavior passed down from generation to generation.

Yet, as much as not wishing to be like any of our parents, we may find ourselves having adopted the same patterns, behavior and attitudes. It often comes as no surprise to some of us on how we end up in similar patterns. We may not recognize it at first but the patterns are the same recurring themes.

Negative patterns essentially bear the same emotional pain energy even though they may take on different forms. Anorexia, obesity or alcoholism may be traced to negative self images perpetuated by our parents during our younger days. It is possible that our current feelings of rejection originate from childhood.

While there are the rare courageous few who rise above their traumas, the vast majority of us carry the wounds of our childhood around. The same patterns manifest in every aspect of our lives; at home, in the office; in the relationships we have with our spouses, kids, parents or friends; or even physically.

Wounded Child Healing: Releasing the Trauma

Indeed, the wounds of your inner child can create much havoc in the relationships you have with yourself and others. Through healing, you confront the archetypal force within your psyche. With confronting rather than stifling the voice, you release the emotional charge that your wounded child holds on to. You recognize that you have been compelled to grow up too fast.

Carrying the baggage of an openly wounded child keeps you living in the past. You keep alive the story of your past of abandonment, abuse, betrayal, rejection, guilt and shame. Your energy resonates the same vibrational pattern. If you have ever wondered why you attract the same type of experiences, herein lies the reason why.

Your wounded child has no awareness of spiritual lessons. He or she may want to stay hurt, angry and vindictive even. You will need to release the energetic story of your wounded child. As long as you allow your wounded child to be in the driver’s seat, you operate from the same helpless space.

Wounded child healing means caring for yourself so that the things of the past no longer hurt you. You realize your need for healing because you are only hurting yourself most of all, when you carry the baggage around. You do this by acknowledging the wounded child within. You call up the little kid for the unfinished business of loving, nurturing and embracing him or her.

You may initially feel resistant to releasing yourself from the pain of your childhood story. You have identified with it for so long that you suspect you will feel lost without one. After all, you need someone or something to take the blame for your current dysfunctional self or life. You are filled with a sense of righteous anger towards your parents, family or friends for the person you have now become.

Giving up the story is going to put you in great discomfort. Your childhood story is essentially a collection of thoughts of the past. You have to realize that you cannot hope to create an empowering life if you do not first release your attachment to an old script.

Freeing Your Wounded Child

For wounded child healing, you may be invited to explore forgiveness. You work on forgiving yourself by letting your inner child that it is not her fault. Also, you may consider if you are willing to forgive those who could have contributed to the situation that you are now in.

Taking one or two steps back potentially gives you a clearer picture. For instance, it allows you to see whether your parents have also been emotionally hurt as a result of their own childhood experiences. They have unconsciously inflicted on you what they have suffered as children.

It also boils down to choice. Think about it this way. Decide which you would rather have: continued pain or ultimate freedom?

Your Thoughts Please

I wrote this article in a series of thoughts on self discovery. My thoughts were sparked due to my own personal healing experiences. [Update] I now offer private sessions where we work on healing and reparenting the wounded child. To find out more about working together, apply for a discovery call here.

Over to you. Do you carry around with you a wounded child? What does your inner child say? If you have dealt with wounded or inner child issues, do share what has worked for you.

In Loving Kindness,
Evelyn Lim

Why Heal Your Wounded Inner Teenager

1. Repressed Emotions. Through my work with clients, I’ve encountered individuals who grappled with unresolved teenage turmoil. These were times marked by confusion, vulnerability, and often a lack of guidance to navigate the storm of emotions and societal pressures. Consequently, many suppressed their feelings, burying them deep within their subconscious. This repression, coupled with unmet emotional needs, would build over the years into adulthood.
   If you find yourself getting into emotional overwhelm rather quickly and with an inability to cope, ask yourself if they are related to issues that arise from your teenage years, not just when you were pre-teen. 
2. Body Image Issues. Teenagers go through bodily and hormonal changes and can find it hard to handle their physical challenges. Many feel awkward and having to process societal beauty standards. Some hold on to their body image issues and carry them into adulthood; leading to weight problems, eating disorders or a lack in confidence. 
   If you have got body image issues, check if they first stem from your teenage years. 
3. Reduced Ability to Form Intimate and Fulfilling Relationships. Then, there are also some who experience their first heartbreak or sexual encounter, and that’s when their wounds were formed. Feelings of shame would lie buried in the subconscious for years, causing them to build protective walls that act as barriers to cultivating more satisfying and intimate relationships as they grow up. Some would even swear off marriage relationships due to past teenage trauma.
   If you can’t seem to form intimate and fulfilling relationships, ask yourself if this is due to holding on to unresolved pain, hurt or shame from experiences that are physically or sexually-related from your teenage years. 
4. Unclear About Identity and Feeling Lost in Direction. The teenage years correspond to the time when we seek to find own identity. It’s also the time when we are learning to be independent and to make our own decisions. In order to find ourselves, it may mean having to break away from our parents’ beliefs. During this phase, some confused teenagers may become rebellious as they work out the identity that would define them.
   If you are constantly feeling insecure, indecisive and lost, ask yourself it this is related to your teenage years. It could be that your parents made all the decisions for you or that you had simply adopted other people’s beliefs without clearly processing them. 
   

Benefits to Healing Your Inner Teenager 

Well, the good news is that even though the past is long gone, all is not lost. We can work on healing the inner teenager. It’s similar to doing inner child work, except with considerations of what has gone on during the teenage phase. Whatever hurt or suffering you’ve experienced back then is the key to healing that inner teen today.

Benefits to Doing Inner Teen Work:

1. Calm any nervous tension that originates from your teenage years.
2. Resolve any unmet needs of your teenage self with love, acceptance and care. 
3. Heal the wounds that have been affecting your relationships today.
4. Address issues that are about body image and that could be related to eating disorders or lack in confidence.
5. Reparent the troubled or rebellious part of you with setting boundaries and clear directions for a healthier way forward. 
6. Reclaim the vitality and boundless energy of your inner teen that your adult self may have lost.
7. Rekindle the sense of curiosity and desire to venture out from one’s comfort zone. 

The healthy teenager is at the stage of forging their own identity, with innate curiosity and desire to explore their strengths and interests. Healing and reparenting the inner teenager allows you to restore vitality. Your inner teenage self deserves to be loved, accepted and guided. Set yourself free from your troubled past and be ready to take charge of your life from doing inner teen work.

If you’d like to find out more about working together, request for a discovery call here. 

Love and Abundance Always, 
Evelyn Lim
Transformation & Emotional Healing Coach

In the past, I would be extremely self-critical.

There are parts of myself that I would notice and that I wouldn’t be happy with. With age, I started to notice the wrinkles, grey hair and skin laxity too. At one stage, my weight kept increasing that showed up in an expanding waistline. Fortunately, I’ve come to understand that self-love starts with self-acceptance.

In a world that constantly bombards us with unrealistic beauty standards, it’s helpful to remember about what it means to accept ourselves despite any physical flaws.

I remind myself that it’s okay to be imperfectly perfect and that true beauty comes from within.

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.” Audrey Hepburn

Today, I’m celebrating myself as I am and I hope you do too.

Once again, if you are body shaming, stop. 

Join me in the journey of self-love, because you deserve to shine just as you are! 

And if you are needing to dive deeper into self-love, get my Self-Love Practice: How to Love, Heal and Reparent Your Inner Child on Amazon today! Alternatively, contact me for a discovery call if you’d like to work on loving and accepting yourself. 

Shine your brilliance always, 
Evelyn Lim

Childhood wounds are, after all, invisible to us.

And if we can’t see them through our naked eye, why does it matter whether we are carrying them or not?

Well, it may well explain contributing reasons behind our current day issues like

•  anxiety
• depression
• constant insecurity
• low self-esteem
• inability to find loving relationships
• inability to have better success,
• etc

In other words, just because we can’t visually see our wounds does not mean that they don’t exist.

As I understand, according to Sigmund Freud, they are hidden in the deep recesses of our psyche, buried deep in the unconscious. We repress our pain, hurt and anger in these wounds. Because they are yet to be resolved, they can blindside us. It is why we are often in self-sabotage.

Thus, if we don’t heal our past wounds, they can bleed into everything that we do or encounter today.

“We have to listen to the child we once were, the child who still exists inside us. That child understands magic moments. We can stifle its cries, but we cannot silence its voice.The child we once were is still there.” Paul Coelho

Neglecting Our Childhood Wounds

The wounds that we carry are often related to our childhood.

Anxiety originating from traumatic experiences in our past is hidden from consciousness, and can cause problems during adulthood (in the form of neuroses). Hence, if we are interested to work on addressing anxiety, depression or our problems today at root cause, it is vital that we dig deeper into our unconscious so that we can find our inner child and to resolve her needs.

Most of us would dismiss our negative childhood experiences as anything major since it wasn’t as if we went through anything life-threatening.

Even if there was a traumatic episode, we have been taught not to make things a big deal.

Nor do we want to be accused of dwelling in the past or blame our parents for the lack of a happy childhood.

We have been taught to be strong, positive and optimistic with messages like “don’t cry”, “suck it up” or “don’t be a weakling”.

What we may not realise is that positive psychology can work against us if we keep bypassing our emotions!

Just because we have applied a band-aid so that we appear well on the outside, does not mean that there is no injury on the inside.

It would serve anyone to know that emotional neglect, where no physical abuse is made, can also inflict invisible wounds.

Wounds form because there are unresolved issues that our inner child is holding on to. Hence, if we find ourselves in repeated patterns of self-sabotage or a constant feeling of anxiety, depression or emptiness, we need to dig deeper. We will need to bring the unconscious to the conscious.

3 Steps in Healing Our Invisible Childhood Wounds

Since our inner child lies in the unconscious, we will need to meet her there.

We will need to trace back to the root event or cause to find out where she is hurting or having unresolved needs. 

As I call it, we work on Self-Love Healing in an energetic, integrative and wholistic way.

I’d like to propose that we work on healing in 3 ways…
(1) Emotional. We reconnect with our inner child at the subconscious, apply healing salve to the wounds with Love and help her to release repressed emotions with EFT tapping. 
(2) Mental. We reparent our inner child with positive beliefs, support and guidance. 
(3) Spiritual. We complete the integration by rewriting the entire vibrational story from the inside-out with quantum work in the matrix energy field. 

When we include all 3 steps, we are able to send a positive effect that ripples across all aspects and areas of our life today. By releasing ourselves from the past, we have the freedom to make a different choice in the way forward. Our health, relationships and well-bing improves, consequently. 

“The inner child lives within all of us, it’s the part of us that feels emotions and is playful, intuitive, and creative. Usually hidden under our grown-up persons, the Inner Child holds the key to intimacy in relationships, physical and emotional we-being, recovery from addictions, and the creativity and wisdom of our inner selves.” Lucia Capacchione 

Need more help? Interested to work on Self-Love Inner Child healing? Learn how to reparent yourself in my starter course. Or, apply for a discovery call to find out more about working together in 1:1 personal sessions. 

Love and abundance always, 
Evelyn Lim
Self-Love Healing Therapist 
Accredited EFT & Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner

Enough was enough, you had said. You decided that you were quite done with hiding. And so, even as your heart raced, you proceeded with boldly sharing something vulnerable about yourself. With a trembling voice, you went through your story. You shared it from deep within your heart. 

The moment you let it out, you heaved a sigh of relief. The burden of keeping it all in was lifted. It was also when you gave yourself a pat on the back for your courage and congratulated yourself for being more authentic and daring greatly. 

But wait a minute!!! As the dust settled, you began to compute what you’ve just done. Filled with regret, you started to shame yourself for such a stupid move. Feeling vulnerable about being vulnerable hit you in waves of nausea. You became sick to the stomach over the thought that others might ridicule you or reject you. 

Well, in case you don’t know what had just taken place, there is one apt phrase that describes the phenomena: Vulnerability Hangover. 

I have experienced vulnerability hangover many times. Despite thinking that I would absolutely die from shame with each confession episode, none of the awful scenarios I imagined took place. For instance, no one criticised me for publishing a vulnerable post. The wonderful thing is that I am still alive and I continue to post vulnerable things about myself (such as this article) online.  

Do allow me to share my surviver guide to vulnerability hangover in this post 🙂 

What is a Vulnerability Hangover?

We all know what a hangover is.

It usually arises after excessive alcohol consumption. A hangover refers to a set of adverse symptoms that occur as a consequence of drinking too much. We would find ourselves experiencing fatigue, weakness, thirst, headache, muscle aches, nausea, stomach pain, vertigo, irritability, sweating, and/or increased blood pressure. I can still recall the days when I experience hangovers after a night of partying at the club, as a young adult. 

But what about a Vulnerability Hangover? 

A vulnerability hangover is also about the aftermath. In the case of a vulnerability hangover, it is the aftermath from having exposed something vulnerable about yourself. You experience a set of reactions in consequence that are both psychological and physical. 

For a start, it could be that you’ve experienced something that is shameful or embarrassing in the past. Or it could be some imperfection or secret that you prefer to hide from others. But after some time, you found the courage to finally share it. 

It may be that you not only share it privately but also chose to post about it publicly. However, in a turnaround after publishing your vulnerable story, you wish that you weren’t so hasty. The symptoms you experience may include anxiety, weakness, light-heartedness or dizziness. Shame takes over. 

Dr Brené Brown defines vulnerability hangover as the gut-wrenching feeling of shame and fear that pops right after we undertake an emotional risk. Indeed, it can feel as if our lives are at stake if we are to share something vulnerable about ourselves. No one likes to be perceived as weak, helpless or imperfect. We are afraid that people will reject or ridicule us because of our vulnerability. 

My Experience with Vulnerability Hangovers 

It started with writing articles. I recall the first time after sharing something vulnerable about myself online. For quite some time, I did not dare read what I had posted. My eyes would burn whenever I thought about the post where I had shamelessly shared about my previous dating failures. Fortunately, when I finally plucked the courage to review my post, I found out that it attracted great response. 

Then, I proceeded to publishing videos. I took the step of boldly sharing vulnerable stories when recording them. As the critic of my own videos, I consider some of them rather cringe-worthy. You can find them on my youtube channel, FB page or Instagram LOL! 

Well, I realised that I had two choices with each vulnerability hangover. The first option is to delete the post and pray very hard that no one has seen it. The second option is not to delete the video but to work through shame. I decided to do the latter. 

How to Heal Yourself from a Vulnerability Hangover 

If you are with me, I’d like to share how you can handle shame in 3 ways. They are as follows…

1. Work through letting go of shame and any fear of rejection. You can do this with EFT tapping or any other emotional healing method. This is a great opportunity for you to practice empathy. 
2. Normalise vulnerability hangover. Recognise that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but an an act of courage and innate strength for having taken a risk. 
3. Align with your goals of wanting to create connection through your vulnerable stories. Remember: the more you put yourself out there, the more you increase your ability to connect with your audience. You are showing up with authentic courage!

I started out by not being able to review all or anything that I’ve posted vulnerably. What I have observed is that as I work through shame, I have increased my ability to go back and read my written posts or to replay some of my old videos – without flinching. I consider this progress! 

Hope this article is of help to you in working through vulnerability hangover. 

Let me know if vulnerability hangover is something you experience in the comments box below 🙂 

Love and abundance always, 
Evelyn Lim 
Emotional Healing Coach
Accredited EFT Practitioner 

1. Fear of Abandonment. You have deep fears about being abandoned.  Thus, it could cause you to be clingy. Even though your relationships may be toxic, you’d give plenty of excuses to stay on.

2. Tendency to Overreact. You tend to react rather than respond, and your reactions tend to be out of proportion to the trigger. An example is getting into rage when someone cuts queue. When you don’t feel in control of your reactions to a situation, it’s your inner child acting up.

3. Boundary Issues. You have a hard time saying “no” to requests. In order to please others, you may choose to sacrifice your own needs. Others take advantage of you when you have poor boundaries set up.

4. Low self-confidence. You constantly criticise yourself and you often feel inadequate or “not good enough”. At a deep level, you believe that there is something wrong with you.

5. Perfectionistic tendencies. You shame yourself when you can’t meet your standards or expectations. Self-forgiveness is very hard for you. 

6. Deep anxiety. You can’t handle stress and often experience deep anxiety. On the extreme, you may even suffer from panic attacks. Read case study here. With deep anxiety, it could be that you have the fear that things will turn out horribly for you and so you find it hard to trust. It affects your ability to commit. You may have the fear of being betrayed as well.

7. Feel like a “nobody” and lack of significance. You feel that you are not being seen or heard. Health issues like eczema can also manifest. Also, you may believe that you don’t have a place here on Earth, and have existential issues.

With issues such as above, the consequences can be dire. You can potentially find it hard to function well, struggle at work or in your business, have health issues, suffer from chronic depression etc….life can appear to be one of suffering.

The Truth with Trauma

The truth is: many of us have traumas – whether they are big or small – from our past that need addressing.

It’s obvious when it comes to the big traumas (Ts) in life. For example, when an abuse or the death of a caregiver happens, and you have not had a chance to deal with the traumatic experience. Thus, you have an inner child who is needing some help.

But it could also be a series of small traumas (“t”s). So, maybe your parents didn’t exactly physically abandon you. Instead, any one of the situations could have happened…
– Your parents were too busy and you felt neglected as a child
– You did not get the bonding that you needed with your mum as a newborn
– You had to take on adult responsibilities even though you were still a kid
– Your caregivers constantly put you down
– Your parents never quite validated or guided you in the past.

As a result of any of these, you could have made certain negative conclusions and limiting beliefs about yourself or about the world. Holding on to a belief of “I’m not lovable” or “I am not enough” can affect you in your adult life. When you reconnect with your wounded inner child, you are able to access the fragmented parts of yourself so that you can collapse the patterns behind your phobias, underlying fears, insecurities, and self-sabotaging inclinations.

A reconnection with my inner child is essentially self-love healing. As a result of inner child or self-love healing, clients have also reported reduced anxiety, increased confidence, money breakthroughs, and a lot more ease with achieving their goals. It’s evident that if more of us can do some inner child or self-love healing, the world will be a much better place.

How to Address The Wounds of Your Inner Child with Self-Love Healing

Inner child or self-love healing can be achieved by the following 3 important steps: 
1. Reconnecting with her by acknowledging her presence and embracing her with love
2. Releasing the disruptive negative emotions held by your inner child 
3. Rewriting with a new set of beliefs that support well-being.  

You can choose to write a letter to your inner child too.

What If You Need More Help with  Inner Child or Self-Love Healing

It can be that you find it difficult to reach out to your inner child. Or, you don’t really have a good sense that you are able to help her on your own. Or, you may be fearful about any unknown that can potentially arise from going back to the past. 

Whatever it is, if you have experienced a big traumatic experience that affects your mental health today, it could be that you need more assistance. In this case, I recommend that you seek a clinical psychologist or medical expert for help. 

However, if your issue is likely the result of small traumatic experiences (or ts), do reach out to me.

The difference in my approach: I use a combination of methodologies via EFT, energy psychology, Matrix Reimprinting and Neuro-linguistic Programming for self-love healing. We work on resolving the root cause of your issues at the subconscious level, somatically and also energetically.

Make a booking for a Self-Love Online Healing Session here

Alternatively, click over here for an online course on How to Reparent Yourself and Heal Your Inner Child.

Related articles: 

1. Case study: Repair Birth Trauma

2. Case study: How Rose Addressed Feeling Unwanted in Her Mother’s Womb

3. Case study: Breaking Free of High Anxiety

Spread the Message of Self-Love
If you have resonated with this message on self-love, do share this post with your friends and family on social media. Much love to you!

Shine in self-love always,
Evelyn Lim
Self-Love Online Healing Specialist

It’s exactly what it was like when I first started realising that I needed to love myself but have no idea where to start.

I felt embarrassed that I was clueless and that I should already know this stuff. “How to love yourself” sounded like something that everyone ought to know from young. You see…by the time I became aware about the importance of self-love, I was already an adult, married and with young children.

I even found it surprising (and even laughable) to realise that I was clueless.

Surely, I should be some kind of an expert? After all, as I recalled, relationship matters had been a key focus since my younger days. My attention was on dating, partying and looking for a potential partner. Over cups of latte, I would have long conversations with my girlfriends about relationship issues. As things turned out, I found myself failing miserably in my early relationships. I was in and out of love.

It took going in circles to realise that my issues were mainly rooted in a lack of self-love. The search was not to be made out there. What dawned on me was that my external search was meant to fill the void or emptiness I had inside. It became clear to me that I have had great challenges with finding a good relationship with myself.

Many self-help articles out there focuses on building self-esteem. Upon reflection, I realised that self-esteem and self-love are issues that are often related together. Your belief is that you are not good enough to be loved. If you perceive yourself as a failure, weak or stupid, mustering love for yourself can be very difficult. You are not able to embrace yourself unconditionally.

Learn How to Love Yourself Unconditionally 

Learning how to love yourself may feel unnatural for a start since you could have been ingrained with negative beliefs for decades. Self-love has to be learnt – in other words, in the form of a practice.

Be aware that nothing is going to happen if you do not FIRST make a conscious decision to work on believing that you are worthy and that you are lovable. Indeed, inadequate self-love can make it difficult to attract relationships, all the things you would love in your life….which sums up to abundance. You can find it nearly impossible to ever reach your highest potential!

Learning how to love yourself starts with knowing that you do have a choice. And it is up to you to consciously make the decision of loving yourself. The choice to make is clear: to love yourself unreservedly, without apology and in every way!  (As one of my clients proclaimed upon awakening to self-love, “but of course…why would I choose otherwise?”)

Your intention is to be happy, love yourself and lead a fulfilled life. By making the conscious decision, you are really saying that you want to come alive. You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a full life.

“Love yourself first and everything falls into line.”
Lucille Ball quotes (American radio and motion-picture actress and comedy star, 1911-1989)

Ready to come alive with happiness? Make the decision for self-love. Proceed reading below…

17 ways on How to Love Yourself

1. Fall in love with yourself

Think about what makes you You.

Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not mean that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself despite all perceived”flaws”.

Learn how to love yourself with the mirror. Simply, look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

2. Eliminate Self Criticism

Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes? If you find that you often judge yourself, make an effort to stop the self criticism.

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ.” — unknown

3. Be Kind And Positive

When you start to think kindly and positively about yourself, the love you have for yourself just grows. Make it a habit to praise yourself everyday, while in the front of the mirror. Because of such thoughts, you naturally undertake empowering actions that support your development.

4. Acknowledge Your Effort

It is not always about winning or coming up tops in everything that you do. Many times, it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you have done your best, even if you have failed to produce tangible results.

5. Let Go Of Worry

Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. I can attest to that!

You make yourself sick if you worry excessively. Worry does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Only wise actions can! So instead of worrying, spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation.

If the situation is beyond your control, then make a request to the Universe/God about what you want. Next, surrender your outcome.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” — Epictetus quotes (Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics, AD 55-c.135)

6. Trust Yourself

Learning how to love yourself involves trusting yourself. Thus, you choose to have confidence in your abilities. You also follow up on what you’d say that you’d do. Know that you have the ability to make important changes for yourself, for as long as you put your heart to it.

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”
Benjamin Spock quotes (American Paediatrician and Author, 1903-1998)

7. Forgive Yourself.

Learning how to love yourself is the willingness to embrace yourself even though you have made mistakes in the past. Everyone makes mistakes; so give yourself some grace. There is really no need to beat yourself up over them. Also, if you have been carrying around a baggage of emotional hurt because of a childhood trauma, learn to forgive yourself.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Lewis B. Smedes quotes

8. Be Truthful To Yourself

Loving yourself requires you to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the joy. If you are sad, acknowledge the sorrow.

When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledging what you feel provides a good guide to what your thoughts are. And as we all know, thoughts can be changed, so that healing and self growth can take place.

9. Grow Spiritually

When you spend time growing spiritually, loving yourself becomes automatic. You become more peaceful, connected, kind, loving and compassionate. You nurture a mind that grows more beautiful by the day. You naturally love yourself in the process.

10. Make Positive Affirmations Everyday

Reframe your mind with positive affirmations. For instance, say this to yourself “I love and accept myself completely and unconditionally” or other encouraging words that lift your energy.

Don’t just say the affirmations without feeling and believing in them. If you want positive affirmations to work for you, you need to resonate with them from the heart.

11. Express Gratitude

How to love yourself involves feeling blessed. Hence, express gratitude for the person that you are. For instance, cultivate an appreciation for your strengths and gifts. Also, feel a sense of gratitude that you are alive and well, and fully capable of making a difference in your life.

12. Nurture Your Dreams

Why deny your dreams? By pursuing your dreams, you get to love the life that you are leading. Every moment that you live is joy because you give yourself the chance for creativity. You are honouring your soul’s wish to create from your heart. Loving yourself is to honour your desire to create a life of love.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. —Mark Twain

13. Boost Your Self Confidence

Make a deliberate attempt to look for opportunities that can help improve your confidence. For instance, if you are particularly good at doing something, set aside more time to indulge and improve your skills on it. Knowing that you have particular gifts can boost your self esteem and also, self-love.

14. Relax

Learn to love yourself by giving yourself space to take breaks every now and then. If you spend your time working, without paying attention to your health, it also means that you do not love yourself well enough to take care of your own body. Fill your time with silence, soothing music and visions of beauty; anything that nourishes your Soul.

15. Have Fun

Inject some fun into your life. Life is meant to be enjoyable. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. If you can think of life in this manner, you automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter.

16. Look After Your Body

It is important that you strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and regular exercise. Your body is a temple and you should treat it with respect. It has been found that the lack of self love is often the root causes of conditions like eating disorders, obesity or even terminal diseases. Learn how to love yourself through applying self-care.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”
Jim Rohn quotes (American Speaker and Author.)

17. Learn To See Beauty

When you learn to see beauty in every thing, you will also see beauty in yourself. Hence, stop to smell the flowers. Notice everything. Feel everything. The pink blush of flowers in your garden, the greenness of the plains, the whisper of the gentle wind and the surrounding aromatic scent.

How to Love Yourself Affirmation

Understand that learning how to love yourself involves a practice. Raising the self-love quotient to an adequate level may take some time. The following is a self-love affirmation that you can make on a daily basis…

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”
Virginia Satir quotes (American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)

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Update #1: Self-Love Secrets Book

I had written a book, Self-Love Secrets, arising from email questions written to me as a result of this post.

Would like to learn more about how to love yourself unconditionally?

Check out my Self-Love collection that covers how to love yourself in the mind, body and spirit –
Click Here for Instant Download of Self-Love Secrets

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Update #2: 10-year Anniversary for this Post

Posting this article 10 years ago has been life-changing for me. I’ve received tons of responses from people all over the world. I’m forever thankful to you and the readers out there who has blessed it with love 🙂

If this is the first time you are reading it,
can I get your help to share it on Facebook, twitter or pinterest?
This post has been a catalyst for many self-love articles written by others today. Hopefully, it can continue to help someone else out there who is depressed and struggling with self-love issues.
From my heart to yours, thank you 🙂

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Update #3: Self-Love Healing

If you’d like to have self-love healing (which covers inner child healing) done, check my services here >>

I wish you much love and abundance always! xx Evelyn Lim

From brilliant poets to inspirational writers and the great sages of all time, each had espoused one and the same: love within yourself leads you to love for all. Self-love is the secret to living fully. Through healthy self-love, you lay the foundation to creating your best life!

(Love who you are. Love yourself through self acceptance, forgiveness and esteem. My collage illustrates Loving Yourself Quote #62 below.)

The following are 101 loving yourself quotes. I have also classified the quotes according to the sub-categories of self-love, where possible. Pick one each day to contemplate over its meaning. Enjoy!

Loving Yourself Quotes: Love from Within

1. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha

2. “There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit, and supplies passion to our lives.”
– Elisabeth Kubler Ross

3. “The love you seek is seeking you at this moment.”
– Deepak Chopra

4. “There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer….
No door that enough love will not open
No gulf that enough love will not bridge,
No wall that enough love will not throw down….
It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble,
How great the mistake,
Sufficient realization of love will resolve it all.
If only you could love enough,
You would be the happiest and most powerful being in the universe.”
– Emmet Fox

5. “Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
– Rumi, thirteenth century Sufi poet

Self Love Secrets: How to Love Yourself Unconditionally

Facing tremendous difficulties with accepting who you are? Learn more about loving yourself holistically – in mind, body and spirit. Click over to purchase a copy of Self-Love Secrets – available as a download by now!

6. “Something inside you emerges….an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, aliveness. It is the unconditioned, who you are in your essence. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself.”
– Eckhart Tolle

7. “Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”
– Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

8. “Dedicate yourself to Love. Decide to let Love be your intention, your purpose, and your point. And then let Love inspire you, support you and guide you in every other dedication you make thereafter.”
– Robert Holden

9. “No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning.”
– Barbara de Angelis

10. “I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man.”
– Dwight L Moody

11. “What you think about yourself is much more important than what others think of you.”
– Marcus Annaeus Seneca

12. “Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell

13. “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”
– Veronica A. Shoffstall

14. “Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.”
– Michel de Montaigne

15. “The things we hate about ourselves aren’t more real than things we like about ourselves.”
– Ellen Goodman

16. “Love is based on our capacity to trust in a reality beyond fear, to trust a timeless truth bigger than all our difficulties.”
– Jack Kornfield

17. “Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
– Louise L. Hay.

18. “Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

19. “I am an artist of my own creation. I like myself.”
– Sondra Ray

Loving Yourself Quotes: Self-Love Miracles

20. “I love myself for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now.”
– Louise Hay

21. “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”
– Wayne Dyer

22. “Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.”
– Thaddeus Golas

23. “If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”
– Barbara De Angelis

24. “The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”
– Sonya Friedman

25. “If we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.”
– Louise L. Hay

26. “To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves.”
– Anonymous

27. “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
– Oscar Wilde

28. “Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.”
– Alexander Smith

29. “About all you can do in life is be who you are.”
– Rita Mae Brown

30. “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
– Maya Angelou

31. “A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.”
– Ken Keyes

32. “She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself.”
– Anais Nin

33. “I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody.”
– Louis L Amour

34. “Of all afflictions, the worst is self-contempt.”
– Berthold Auerbach

35. “I didn’t belong as a kid, and that always bothered me. If only I’d known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier.”
– Bette Midler

36. “Every single one of us can do things that no one else can do-can love things that no one else can love. We are like violins. We can be used for doorstops, or we can make music.”
– Barbara Sher

37. Ultimately, love is self approval.
– Sondra Ray

Loving Yourself Quotes: Self Acceptance

38. “The greatest success is successful self-acceptance.”
– Ben Sweet

39.”If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.”
– Maxwell Maltz

40. “Accept your humanness as well as your divinity, totally and without reserve.”
– Emmanuel

Self Love Secrets: How to Love Yourself Unconditionally

Facing tremendous difficulties with accepting who you are? Learn more about loving yourself holistically – in mind, body and spirit. Click over to purchase a copy of Self-Love Secrets – available as a download by now!

41. “Resolve to be thyself … he who finds himself loses his misery!”
– Matthew Arnold

42. “We will discover the nature of our particular genius when we stop trying to conform to our own or to other people’s models, learn to be ourselves, and allow our natural channel to open.”
– Shakti Gawain

43. “Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.”
– Jean Vanier

44. “Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections.”
– Saint Francis de Sales

45. “I’ve finally stopped running away from myself. Who else is there better to be?”
– Golden Hawn

46. “A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself.”
– Axel Munthe

47. “Our entire life … consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are.”
– Jean Anouih

48. “Of all our infirmities, the most savage is to despise our being.”
– Michel de Montaigne

49. “I’m not OK, you’re not OK-and that’s OK.”
– William Sloane Coffin

50. “To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.”
– Sandra Bierig

51. “You are unique, and if that is not fulfilled then something has been lost.”
– Martha Graham

52. “Oh, I’m so inadequate. And I love myself!”
– Meg Ryan

53. ““Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.”
– Author unknown

54. “The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.”
– Paul Tillich

55. “Contentment, and indeed usefulness, comes as the infallible result of great acceptances, great humilities-of not trying to conform to some dramatized version of ourselves.”
– David Grayson

56. “We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.
– Roderick Thorp

57. “Accept the place the divine providence has found for you.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

58. “Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.”
– Bill Copeland

59. “Be content to seem what you really are.”
– Marcus Aurelius

60. “People are crying up the rich and variegated plumage of the peacock, and he is himself blushing at the sight of his ugly feet.”
– Sa’Di

61. “The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.”
– Mark Twain

62. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

63. “It’s OK if you mess up. You should give yourself a break.”
– Billy Joel

64. “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
– William James

65. “How I relate to my inner self influences my relationships with all others. My satisfaction with myself and my satisfaction with other people are directly proportional.”
– Sue Atchley Ebaugh

Loving Yourself Quotes: Celebrate Who You Are

66. “I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.”
– Abraham Lincoln

67. “When you know you are doing your very best within the circumstances of your existence, applaud yourself!”
– Rusty Berkus

68. “You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, “I’m proud of what I am and who I am, and I’m just going to be myself.”
– Mariah Carey

69. “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”
– Oprah Winfrey

70. “If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”
– Ralph Emerson.

71. “Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.”
– Elizabeth Cady Stanton

72. “When you know you are doing your very best within the circumstances of your existence, applaud yourself!”
– Rusty Berkus

Loving Yourself Quotes: Self-trust and Belief

73. “Our doubts are traitors and makes us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
– William Shakespeare

74. “Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.”
– Ellen Sue Stern

75. “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”
– Vincent Van Gogh

76. “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”
– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

78. “Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown.”
– Author Unknown

79. “Of all our infirmities, the most savage is to despise our being.”
– Michel de Montaigne

80. “Never dull your shine for somebody else.”
– Tyra Banks

81. “If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor.”
– Nicholas de Chamfort

82. “The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”
– Sonya Friedman

83. “I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
– Louisa May Alcott

84. “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
– Johann von Goethe

85. “Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by the belief in your heart.”
– Robert Collier

86. “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment – or unlearning – of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love is…our ultimate reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.”
– Marianne Williamson

87. “I’ve learned to trust myself, to listen to truth, to not be afraid of it and to not try and hide it.”
– Sarah MchLachlan

88. Yours is the energy that makes your world. There are no limitations to the self except those you believe in.”
– Jane Roberts

89. “It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”
– Edmund Hillary

90. “Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway.”
– Mary Kay Ash

91. “Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.”
– Ellen Sue Stern

Loving Yourself Quotes: Self Esteem

92. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

93. “Your problem is you’re … too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”
– Ram Dass

94. “If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”
– Author Unknown

95. “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

96. “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
– African Proverb

97. “There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.”
– Nathaniel Branden

98. “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.”
– Sally Field

99. “It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.”
– Sally Kempton

100. “A gold medal is a nice thing – but if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it.”
– From Cool Runnings

101. “Self-esteem is as necessary to the spirit as food is to the body.”
– Dr. Maxwell Maltz

Loving Yourself Quotes: Pick Your Favourite

I have listed 101 loving yourself quotes. Which is your favourite self-love saying and why?

Shine and Smile in Self-Love Always,

Evelyn Lim

P.S. Self Love Series

Today’s post is part of the series on Self Love that I am publishing on my site. Missed any of the earlier posts? Here are the links once again…

Self Love Series: Take a Self Love Quiz

Self Love Series: Say Yes to Loving Yourself

Self Love Stories: Lessons from the Heart

P.S. Sharing is caring. Share this post on 101 loving yourself quotes with your friends on social media. Thank you in advance!