Well, I’d like to offer a brief description of what I understand “wounded child healing” to be.

[Note: I’m re-publishing this article as it is still relevant till today;-)]

What is Wounded Child Healing

The “wounded child” is an archetype which contains damaged or negative emotional patterns of our youth. It may help to improve your understanding if we can draw reference from the lyrics to the song “Childhood” by Michael Jackson…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
People say I’m strange that way
‘Cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the Childhood I’ve never known…

Loving The Wounded Child

Loving the wounded child is about healing ourselves through acknowledging the trauma and hurt that we suffered when we were young and then freeing ourselves from them. As adults, we unconsciously allowed these memories to dictate how we run our lives. Our coping mechanisms were meant to protect us at one stage but they may no longer serve us.

Here is something for you to think about…

The outer story of your adult life, thus far, reflects the inside story of your wounded child.

We hold dysfunctional self images through the stories of our childhood. How we perceive ourselves is pretty much driven by the childhood programming that we have had. Our childhood programming is largely influenced by our caregivers, who represented the world to us while we were young. We form relationships based on what we learn from our parents. Our parents in turn learn about theirs from their parents. So it is in us that we have layers and layers of beliefs, patterns and behavior passed down from generation to generation.

Yet, as much as not wishing to be like any of our parents, we may find ourselves having adopted the same patterns, behavior and attitudes. It often comes as no surprise to some of us on how we end up in similar patterns. We may not recognize it at first but the patterns are the same recurring themes.

Negative patterns essentially bear the same emotional pain energy even though they may take on different forms. Anorexia, obesity or alcoholism may be traced to negative self images perpetuated by our parents during our younger days. It is possible that our current feelings of rejection originate from childhood.

While there are the rare courageous few who rise above their traumas, the vast majority of us carry the wounds of our childhood around. The same patterns manifest in every aspect of our lives; at home, in the office; in the relationships we have with our spouses, kids, parents or friends; or even physically.

Wounded Child Healing: Releasing the Trauma

Indeed, the wounds of your inner child can create much havoc in the relationships you have with yourself and others. Through healing, you confront the archetypal force within your psyche. With confronting rather than stifling the voice, you release the emotional charge that your wounded child holds on to. You recognize that you have been compelled to grow up too fast.

Carrying the baggage of an openly wounded child keeps you living in the past. You keep alive the story of your past of abandonment, abuse, betrayal, rejection, guilt and shame. Your energy resonates the same vibrational pattern. If you have ever wondered why you attract the same type of experiences, herein lies the reason why.

Your wounded child has no awareness of spiritual lessons. He or she may want to stay hurt, angry and vindictive even. You will need to release the energetic story of your wounded child. As long as you allow your wounded child to be in the driver’s seat, you operate from the same helpless space.

Wounded child healing means caring for yourself so that the things of the past no longer hurt you. You realize your need for healing because you are only hurting yourself most of all, when you carry the baggage around. You do this by acknowledging the wounded child within. You call up the little kid for the unfinished business of loving, nurturing and embracing him or her.

You may initially feel resistant to releasing yourself from the pain of your childhood story. You have identified with it for so long that you suspect you will feel lost without one. After all, you need someone or something to take the blame for your current dysfunctional self or life. You are filled with a sense of righteous anger towards your parents, family or friends for the person you have now become.

Giving up the story is going to put you in great discomfort. Your childhood story is essentially a collection of thoughts of the past. You have to realize that you cannot hope to create an empowering life if you do not first release your attachment to an old script.

Freeing Your Wounded Child

For wounded child healing, you may be invited to explore forgiveness. You work on forgiving yourself by letting your inner child that it is not her fault. Also, you may consider if you are willing to forgive those who could have contributed to the situation that you are now in.

Taking one or two steps back potentially gives you a clearer picture. For instance, it allows you to see whether your parents have also been emotionally hurt as a result of their own childhood experiences. They have unconsciously inflicted on you what they have suffered as children.

It also boils down to choice. Think about it this way. Decide which you would rather have: continued pain or ultimate freedom?

Your Thoughts Please

I wrote this article in a series of thoughts on self discovery. My thoughts were sparked due to my own personal healing experiences. [Update] I now offer private sessions where we work on healing and reparenting the wounded child. To find out more about working together, apply for a discovery call here.

Over to you. Do you carry around with you a wounded child? What does your inner child say? If you have dealt with wounded or inner child issues, do share what has worked for you.

In Loving Kindness,
Evelyn Lim

As I figure, it is time for an update with new insights and client stories. Although it has been at least 9 years ago since I published my first book on self-love, I’ve been suspecting that there is still a lot of people out there with no or little clue on what it means to love themselves. Much of my suspicion arose from my sessions with clients. They could have presented a problem in say, performance anxiety, relationship conflicts or having imposter syndrome. Regardless of the presenting problem, we would be led to the same place: the need to be and feel loved.

What really got to me is how timeless the message of self-love is. Thus, the idea of a new book was born about a year ago. Titled Self-Love Practice, the book is a reaffirmation and a deepening of what it means to love ourselves. It’s now available on Amazon.

What Does It Mean to Have a Self-Love Practice 

Many people get mistaken that self-love is about pampering ourselves with a massage or buying ourselves something we believe that we deserve. No doubt that doing these can help us to feel better about ourselves. And there will be times when these are all that is required to lift our mood. But there are also times when loving ourselves encompasses a lot more. 

In fact, loving ourselves matters most when we are particularly harsh inwards. Or when we find ourselves regressing to the part of us that feels particularly vulnerable. And it is often where our traumas of not feeling loved first took place: childhood.

We can’t change the past but we can certainly heal in the present. Thus, unconditional self-love is about embracing ourselves in every way?—?including all our quirks, mistakes and imperfections?—?and including our inner child. We love our inner child, no matter what took place in the past. A self-love practice requires us to attend to the hidden needs of our inner child. 

This work involves time and attention. Since the benefits may not happen overnight, self-love work is going to be more like a practice. The more you commit to doing the inner work, the more wellness you gain. 

If you have no clue on where to start with inner child work, then get this book to gain some helpful tips.

Click Over Here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CC4R9B8W

How Can a Self-Love Practice Benefit You

Reading this book can potentially benefit you if 

• you have trouble loving yourself 
• you find it hard to manage your emotions
• you have encountered childhood emotional neglect or rejection
• you want to overcome issues such as “not being seen” or “not being heard”
• you would like to overcome “not good enough” issues
• you would like to improve self-confidence, resilience and ability to cope

Grab a copy of my book to find out more?. Launch price is only US$1. Click over here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CC4R9B8W

Shine in your brilliance always, 
Evelyn Lim
Transformation Coach
Author 

There are altogether 4 main attachment styles: Secure, Anxious-ambivalent, Avoidant and Disorganised. 

Secure Attachment Style

A secure attachment style is created when there has been a warm and loving bond between parent and child. The child (assuming female) is able to perceive that she is cared for. She feels safe to explore, and experiences little or no anxiety separation as she is aware that her parent will still be there for her when she returns. 

A secure child grows to develop social skills. She is happy to give, take, and share, and she shows empathy to others when distressed. Where she is secure, she tends to face no or fewer problems with forming long-term and intimate relationships with others during adulthood. She experiences little fear of abandonment and finds that she is able to trust her partner. 

[My Comments] No reparenting is required as the inner child of a secure adult is likely to be in great psychological health and well-being. 

All the other 3 styles fall under insecure attachments. 

Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment Style

An anxious-ambivalent child tends to feel nervous and are not able to trust others. She has a fear of abandonment. As a result, she is fearful when she explores her surroundings. During the formative period, her caregiver may have acted nurturing and responsive one moment and unavailable or insensitive the next. The caregiver’s actions may not have been intentionally neglectful but the child perceives an inconsistency. As a result, she gains anxiety and tries her best to seek approval. 

Ambivalence refers to having mixed feelings, thus potentially leading to indecisiveness or uncertainty in adulthood. Those with anxious attachment style tend to be clingy and emotionally dependent on others. They often feel unloved by their partners whilst finding it difficult to love themselves. Consequently, they tend to sabotage their relationships.

Avoidant-Dismissive Style

An avoidant child finds it necessary to protect herself by becoming self-reliant. She holds the view that her emotional needs are likely to remain unmet. And so, she needs to behave like a “little adult”. 

Her caregivers may have disregarded her needs by not being responsive and behaving in a manner that appears to be a rejection. For example, she may have been told to “stop crying”, “grow up” or “you’re acting like a baby”. Hence, she has no outlet to express what she feels. As a result, the avoidant child finds it hard to get into close relationships. In adulthood, she avoids intimacy and tend to shut down any form of attachment. During times of crisis, she often find it hard to cope emotionally and have trouble seeking help. 

Disorganised Attachment Style

Disorganised attachment is a combination of avoidant and anxious attachment. A child with disorganised attachment style often demonstrates intense anger and rage. The fearful avoidant attachment style is often seen in children who have gone through deep trauma or abuse.

During the formative period, the caregiver may have behaved chaotically or unpredictably. There is a huge contrast in behaviour, that puts the child in a lot of fear and the child perceiving the caregiver to be “scary”. The caregiver goes from being affectionate to aggressiveness and back again, without any logical explanation. 

Fearful avoidant children with disorganised attachment face the challenge of having to adapt to their caregiver’s behaviour. They end up confused about how they should act. Another reason for fear is going through trauma that involves the attachment figure. For instance, the caregiver abuses the child (verbally, physically, or sexually) or the child witnesses the caregiver abuse someone else. The child is no longer able to trust the caregiver. 

Those with disorganised attachment styles want to love and be loved but at the same time, they are afraid of letting anyone into their heart. They have a strong fear that the people who are closest to them will hurt them. Their fears often become self-fulfilling. As adults, they are afraid of getting into intimate relationships and can have a difficult time controlling their emotions.

Addressing Insecure Attachment Through Reparenting 

Refer to the graphic for a summary on the 4 attachment styles

Fortunately, it is possible to address insecure attachment styles. You may have started out as being insecurely attached when you were young but through reparenting your inner child, it is possible to become a lot more confident, trusting and grounded. Reparenting of the inner child needs to involve alleviating any fears of abandonment, calming heightened anxiety, creating safety and establishing what healthy boundaries look like.  Each unhealthy attachment style can be addressed with appropriate reparenting strategies, for healing and greater well-being. 

In short, the message is…

“Reparent yourself, so that you can transform your insecurely attached inner child to one that feels safe, holds confidence and one that is able to set healthy boundaries.” Evelyn Lim 

This article is an excerpt from my book, Self-Love Practice, that is available on Amazon. 

Check out my starter online course on How to Reparent Yourself and Heal Your Inner Child >> 

Alternatively, apply for a discovery call to find out more about working with me, so that you can turn your insecure attachments to healthy reparenting! 

With love, 
Evelyn Lim
Reparenting Coach

Well….it is true that you can’t actually see your inner child with your naked eye. It may even feel like you are playing pretend when you close your eyes and attempt to see your inner child. Yet, just because you can’t see something with opened eyes does not mean that it does not exist. For example, just because you can’t see electricity does not mean that it is not working in the background when you turn the lamp on. 

Everyone has an inner child whether they realise it or not. The idea of having an inner child comes from the psychiatrist Carl Jung, who described a child archetype in his work. The inner child is said to have the qualities of innocence, playfulness, and creativity, along with hope for the future. The inner child can also be a source of strength, since early experiences can play a significant part in your development into adulthood. 

But what if the opposite is true?
What if you encountered negative experiences that prevented you from having a happy childhood?
What if the past left you feeling vulnerable, hurt, scared and alone?
Instead of being in a healthy energetic state, your inner child could be wounded. Thus, when childhood experiences negatively affect you, your inner child may continue to carry these wounds until you work on healing. 

My recommendation is to suspend doubt and simply allow answers to arise for inner child work. While it is a fact that the past no longer exists, the inner child is still alive inside you. Sometimes, the inner child may take charge over your adult self especially when you get triggered. It is when you get emotionally reactive and you find yourself reacting from a wounded space. 

Your inner child exists as an energetic form inside your mind. She resides within your subconscious memory. Chances are, you have put her wounds aside in order to function in the world. Yet, she lets you know that she is needing attention by surfacing her issues from long time ago. 

Hence, in order to reach your inner child, you need to create the access subconsciously through your mind’s eye. Some people are able to access their subconscious mind a lot more easily than others. But I’d like to believe that everyone is capable of accessing their subconscious consciously. Giving yourself the chance to relax for deep-level access and trusting yourself intuitively can help a lot! 

S.H.I.F.T. For Inner Child Healing 

For Inner Child Healing, I came up with the S.H.I.F.T. framework so that you can easily remember the steps on what to do. 

S – See your inner child through your mind’s eye. Suspend doubt and simply allow your inner child to present in front of you. 
H – Hold a safe space for her. Be warm and inviting, rather than be suspicious or even judgmental of her. 
I – Identify her feelings and sensations. Ask her to name the emotions she is having and the sensations in her energetic body. 
F – Find out what her beliefs and needs are. Determine what conclusions or beliefs she made about herself and the world and what needs were missing for her. 
T – Take appropriate actions to help her resolve her issues. Ask her what she needs from you right now. For instance, if she is believing that she is unlovable, what does she need from you to let her know that she is lovable. Alternatively, how best can you assure her that she is loved for what she is? 

Hope you find the above tips helpful! 

Learn more about how S.H.I.F.T for Inner Child Healing works by checking out my Self-Love Reparenting starter course. Alternatively, if you need more personal guidance on connecting with your inner child, reach out for a discovery call to find out more about working together. 

Love and Abundance Always, 
Evelyn Lim
Self-Love Reparenting Coach

Finding it hard to deal with emotional overwhelm?

Perhaps, you are at a loss about what to do with the flood of feelings that are coming up. 

A client once described her experience as being in a washing machine, with the flood of emotions spinning round and round and unable to stop. And it happens to the best of us. Whatever the trigger is, it may be that you are feeling angry or sad, all at once. Or that you are feeling torn. 

You just can’t make out what to think or how to go about solving your problems. No wonder you struggle to fall asleep. Well, if you have been feeling struggling, I would like to invite you to create a safe space for yourself.

Instead of being in a rush to repress or deny what you are going through, give yourself some time to process your feelings. 

Start by putting your hands over your heart and center your breathing.

Be in a safe non-judgmental space as you work through this. 

Steps to Deal with Emotional Overwhelm 

1. Center Yourself. Breathe deeply & slow down. Get into a non-judgmental space to safely process how you feel. 
   
   
2. Acknowledge Your Feelings. Avoid denying or suppressing what you feel. Give yourself the permission to feel your negative emotions. It is vital to create a safe space for the processing of feelings. 
   
   
3. Label Your Feelings. Name what you are feeling. Eg. “feeling sad”. Research studies shown that you experience a release when you label your emotions with specificity and granularity. 
   
   
4. Get in Touch with Your Body Sensations. Notice what is going on in your body. Find out if there are signs; such as, racing heartbeat, heaviness in the tummy or tension in the head. Your body stores the trapped energy. To unstuck and ease this energy, it is important to first recognise it. 
   
   
5. Dive Deep. Uncover the root cause of your emotional story. Allow your feelings and sensations to indicate to you if your issues are stemming from the past. Are they about childhood wounds? What took place? What were your unresolved needs? Did you experience emotional neglect? 
   
   
6. Embrace Yourself. Love and accept yourself anyway, in spite of the difficult emotions. Acknowledge that it is okay not to be feeling okay, and accept that you are not perfect. Give yourself the attention and assurance that you need. 
   
   
7. Realise the Impermanence of Feelings. Feelings come and go, let go of the need for control. Be willing to release any identification with the feelings and to let go of the past.    

This Too Shall Pass

If you are in an emotional overwhelm, one reminder that you can give yourself is: this too shall pass. You understand that all circumstances whether good or bad are temporary. Thus, from a non-attached and non-judgmental space, you observe the ebb and flow of feelings. They are like waves of the ocean on the shoreline; sometimes rushing in and sometimes receding. You make peace with the highs and lows, and gently invite yourself to trust that you’d be okay. 

Should you still be struggling, do reach out for your local mental health helplines. Or if you need specific help in processing your feelings, do reach out to me. I specialise in helping clients process their negative emotions with using EFT, so that they can become better able to handle the crisis that they are in and take charge of their life. Apply for a discovery call with me here. 

Take care, 
Evelyn Lim
Self-Love & Emotional Healing Specialist

It can happen in a children’s playground. Or it can happen in adult relationships. These days, emotional bullying can also take place online. 

Emotional bullying brings about negative effects. If it is made repeatedly, the victim’s mental health can decline. Victims end up with depression, anxiety, shame, guilt and fear, and have difficulties showing up fully at work or in their business. Emotional wounds can create leaks in attracting money and abundance too.

Fortunately, it is possible for anyone to work on healing emotional wounds. In some situations, victims are not able to recognise that they have been bullied. Well, it is important for anyone to learn how to identify the signs so that you can tell if there has been bullying. 

10 Signs of Emotional Bullying 

An emotional bully may

1. Name-call, tease or mock you
2. Shame, humiliate or torment you
3. Put-down or belittle your feelings
4. Says things to put you in fear
5. Orders you around like you are subservient 
6. Invades and disrespects your boundary 
7. Ignore or exclude you from a group
8. Dramatises small issues and blames them on you 
9. Gangs up on you 
10. Guilt trips you in a manipulative way.

Such behaviour is prevalent especially in abusive relationships. The emotional bully is sarcastic, manipulative and may even play pranks in order to shame the victim. Unknowingly, the victim may dismiss the behaviour as childish or immature, or make excuses for the bully. The thing is that emotional bullying, whether subtle or not, can create lasting scars. 

Negative Effects of Emotional Bullying 

I’ve seen how the effects of emotional bullying impact my clients in their well-being such as …

• Low self-esteem
• Depression
• Bad academic grades
• Poor job performance
• Isolation
• Physical health challenges.

Standing up to the bully is one thing but if the experiences stem from childhood or if they’ve caused damaging effects, I recommend doing some emotional healing work.

Heal Your Emotional Wounds 

Covering up with a band aid does not solve the problem since there is already “bleeding” beneath the psychological scars. 

It is best is to heal emotionally at root cause for recovery to take place. Hence, we work on releasing any fear or shame at the somatic level, inner child, clearing disruptive patterns, changing your core beliefs, raising self-worthiness and tapping into self-love. 

If you are finding it hard to do these on your own, getting help for emotional healing may just be the most courageous thing that you can do.

I usually draw on a combination of healing modalities to help my clients such as EFT, Matrix Reimprinting, energy healing, inner child psychology, Neuro-linguistic Programming, timeline therapy etc. Apply for a discovery call to find out more about working together here. 

Learn to build resilience, courage and self-love instead! 

To your well-being, 
Evelyn Lim 
Energy Healing Therapist
Accredited EFT Practitioner

To begin with, our issues may or may not be the same as what another member of the group is going through. However, just by observing and tapping along on the issues that belong to another group member, we can potentially experience a reduction in the stress or tension that we have in relation to our own issues. This phenomena is also pretty much aligned with the concepts that “everything is energy” and that we are all inter-connected.

Tapping Circle: Everything is Energy

In group EFT tapping circles, we are simply present with the other member as we tap for her issues while setting our own aside.

When there is a shift in energy by another member, we can find that there is a shift in energy with our own issues too.

Repeated scientific peace studies have already shown that when groups gather for meditation, the following have taken place…
* Up to 72% reduction in terrorist activity
* Over 50% comparative drop in crime
* Tangible easing of international tensions
* Increased economic prosperity.

When we come together to tap, I’d like to postulate that there can be an energetic effect that ripples out to others too. Thus, we don’t just benefit with a positive shift for our own personal issues but others around us as well.  

“I appreciated being guided in the tapping with the prompts that resonated with me very well, and the overall sensation was that of being held in kind and accepting energy. Definitely felt more relaxed and refreshed afterwards.” Maria 

Group tapping circles are great because it is of
* lower cost,
* offers a chance to do some mental housekeeping,
* work through issues,
* and there is the benefit of being in a small community (I usually allow a maximum of 8 to a group). 

Join me in my next tapping circle for women solopreneurs here. 

Love and Abundance Always, 
Evelyn Lim
Accredited EFT Practitioner

Childhood wounds are, after all, invisible to us.

And if we can’t see them through our naked eye, why does it matter whether we are carrying them or not?

Well, it may well explain contributing reasons behind our current day issues like

•  anxiety
• depression
• constant insecurity
• low self-esteem
• inability to find loving relationships
• inability to have better success,
• etc

In other words, just because we can’t visually see our wounds does not mean that they don’t exist.

As I understand, according to Sigmund Freud, they are hidden in the deep recesses of our psyche, buried deep in the unconscious. We repress our pain, hurt and anger in these wounds. Because they are yet to be resolved, they can blindside us. It is why we are often in self-sabotage.

Thus, if we don’t heal our past wounds, they can bleed into everything that we do or encounter today.

“We have to listen to the child we once were, the child who still exists inside us. That child understands magic moments. We can stifle its cries, but we cannot silence its voice.The child we once were is still there.” Paul Coelho

Neglecting Our Childhood Wounds

The wounds that we carry are often related to our childhood.

Anxiety originating from traumatic experiences in our past is hidden from consciousness, and can cause problems during adulthood (in the form of neuroses). Hence, if we are interested to work on addressing anxiety, depression or our problems today at root cause, it is vital that we dig deeper into our unconscious so that we can find our inner child and to resolve her needs.

Most of us would dismiss our negative childhood experiences as anything major since it wasn’t as if we went through anything life-threatening.

Even if there was a traumatic episode, we have been taught not to make things a big deal.

Nor do we want to be accused of dwelling in the past or blame our parents for the lack of a happy childhood.

We have been taught to be strong, positive and optimistic with messages like “don’t cry”, “suck it up” or “don’t be a weakling”.

What we may not realise is that positive psychology can work against us if we keep bypassing our emotions!

Just because we have applied a band-aid so that we appear well on the outside, does not mean that there is no injury on the inside.

It would serve anyone to know that emotional neglect, where no physical abuse is made, can also inflict invisible wounds.

Wounds form because there are unresolved issues that our inner child is holding on to. Hence, if we find ourselves in repeated patterns of self-sabotage or a constant feeling of anxiety, depression or emptiness, we need to dig deeper. We will need to bring the unconscious to the conscious.

3 Steps in Healing Our Invisible Childhood Wounds

Since our inner child lies in the unconscious, we will need to meet her there.

We will need to trace back to the root event or cause to find out where she is hurting or having unresolved needs. 

As I call it, we work on Self-Love Healing in an energetic, integrative and wholistic way.

I’d like to propose that we work on healing in 3 ways…
(1) Emotional. We reconnect with our inner child at the subconscious, apply healing salve to the wounds with Love and help her to release repressed emotions with EFT tapping. 
(2) Mental. We reparent our inner child with positive beliefs, support and guidance. 
(3) Spiritual. We complete the integration by rewriting the entire vibrational story from the inside-out with quantum work in the matrix energy field. 

When we include all 3 steps, we are able to send a positive effect that ripples across all aspects and areas of our life today. By releasing ourselves from the past, we have the freedom to make a different choice in the way forward. Our health, relationships and well-bing improves, consequently. 

“The inner child lives within all of us, it’s the part of us that feels emotions and is playful, intuitive, and creative. Usually hidden under our grown-up persons, the Inner Child holds the key to intimacy in relationships, physical and emotional we-being, recovery from addictions, and the creativity and wisdom of our inner selves.” Lucia Capacchione 

Need more help? Interested to work on Self-Love Inner Child healing? Learn how to reparent yourself in my starter course. Or, apply for a discovery call to find out more about working together in 1:1 personal sessions. 

Love and abundance always, 
Evelyn Lim
Self-Love Healing Therapist 
Accredited EFT & Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner

Connecting with The Energy of Mindfulness

“The energy of mindfulness is the salve that will recognize and heal the child within.” Thich Nhat Hanh

The Path to Reconciliation with Mindfulness

Say, you are seeing your 5-year old. As you breathe in, say the following…

“Breathing in, I see myself as a five year-old child. 
Breathing out, I smile with compassion to the five year-old child in me.” 

You’ve already learnt that child within you is not just you. So there is your dad’s and mum’s 5-year old in you too. You can go on to say…

“Breathing in, I see my father as a five year-old child. 
Breathing out, I smile to my father as a five year-old child.”

You do the same for your mother too. 

If we experience old wounding, he advises us to speak to the child within and say, 

“Darling, I am here for you. I will take good care of you. I know that you suffer so much. I have been so busy. I have neglected you, and now I have learned a way to come back to you.”

In terms of reaching out, Thich Nhat Hanh offers four ways on how we can connect with our inner child: talk, walk, write, and invite.

1. We get into a conversation with our inner child. This is done by talking to her out aloud. 
2. We practice walking meditation with the child within. With each step, we walk with our five-year old for instance. 
3. We listen and write down what our inner child has to say. We may even choose to write a letter to our inner five-year-old. 
4. We invite our inner child into the present moment, so that she can experience the here and now where it is safe. 

Thich Naht Hanh encourages us to speak to our inner child several times a day. It’s how we can get to know what her old fears are by listening. Through having a conversation, we are able to make peace with the traumas of our past. Just as we know that a lotus cannot grow without mud, we learn to embrace pain and suffering. We are able to tell our five-year old that things have changed in the present. 

Reconciliation is possible when we do it with understanding, compassion and love. Mindfulness helps us not to run away but to hold our pain, sorrow and fear. Applying mindfulness, we are to realise that we are safe now and we have the capacity to enjoy the wonders of life in the present moment. 

The Powerful Message of Reconciliation

All in, Thich Nhat Hanh encourages us to find the reconciliation from within. Once we are able to do so, we are better able to reconcile with others. Mindfulness is the path towards reconciliation. 

To make self-love a practice, it would help to cultivate its application as a habit. This means planning for activities that support self-love or care into our calendar. 

“Create a constellation of habits, tiny in size but big on impact.”

– BJ Fogg, Tiny Habits

For instance, we may decide to schedule meditation, emotional healing or mirror work into our time table on a regular basis. Or we may commit to seeing our therapist or coach for emotional or inner child healing weekly. We may decide to incorporate healthy lifestyle choices and we endeavour to show up authentically. Listening to subliminal audios, reading books and journalling on a consistent basis can also potentially help.

The intention is to prioritise such activities. This means that we stop giving ourselves excuses like “no time” or “later”. We may even have accountability buddies to make sure that we keep these promises to ourselves. Where we are constantly triggered, these incidences serve as red flag that our energy tank is being depleted and that it is time to refuel ourselves with love. 

We are what we repeatedly do. Self-love, as a mindfulness practice, involves the consistent application of tiny habits that enhance mind, body and spirit wellness. I make the practice of healthy self-love a priority and I hope you do too 🙂 

Love and Abundance Always, 
Evelyn Lim 
Self-Love Healing Specialist

P.S. Check out the Self-Love Healing Promo Special here.