Thank you so much for everything. This article.. I’ve never been able to relate more closely to anything. I’ve been thinking a lot. My relationships today are waning and I’m blaming it on my past. It needs to stop. I have issues, and I need to fix them. My friends are my world and I can’t lose that. I have to make things right again. This article has deeply inspired me, and for that I sincerely thank you.

Sincerely,
Trent

Hi Trent,

It may not be exactly the same pain but it may be manifested in different ways. There may also be certain life lessons that the parents and children need to learn together. So the child may need to help the parents learn something. And likewise, the opposite.

Best regards,
Evelyn

Evelyn, what if they did not suffer the same pain as children? What if, hypothetically, they had a really good childhood?

i feel i will read this article atleast once a week so that i don forget it n also i overcome my questions as these are since almost 23yrs old so wud take time,

thank you

Hello Melis,

Please look out for an email response from me.

Hugs,
Evelyn

At the moment I’m trying to let go of my wounded child. No matter what I do seems to help though.

Only recently I’ve left my mother who has had such a horribly negative influence in my life. My mother never showed any gratitude or happiness to any of my siblings. Anything I did for her was never good enough. She drinks, smokes and would constantly insult me if I didn’t pick her up alcohol or cigarettes or some other task that she was perfectly capable of doing. Constantly we would get into arguments and she would always put me through guilt trips and start crying saying that everything was my fault because I wasn’t good enough.

Both she and I were sexually abused when we were younger and when I brought this up to her she made it seem like I was trying to compete. It was as if she was trying to make it into a game of “who was worse off”.
Just before I left she began saying things like “You wouldn’t care if I died in my sleep.” “You don’t love me.” or “I don’t care what happens to you because that’s how you feel about me.”

I want to forgive my mother for her behavior and I even tried helping her but she is far too stubborn and rude.

I’m now living with my father who is the exact opposite of my mother. He’s kind, patient and an honest person.
Yet even though my situation is so much better off I find it hard to be happy.

I always insult myself and never find any good in what I do. I know I must have some good qualities but I just can’t accept any compliments. I find to be nice to myself feels selfish.

I want to grow stronger and believe in myself but I always feel guilty and angry with myself for being better off than my mother. I pity her and hate her and love her all at once.
I did not want to become like her but I find myself in the same situation she’s in. I’ll never smoke and I don’t see the point in drinking but I still can’t love myself or enjoy myself.

I feel stupid for writing this on here. I feel pitiful and weak. I don’t know what I want to do with myself or what I want to be when I’m older.
I’ve always been childish and wanted people to fawn over me or praise me but when they do I shy away from their compliments.

Every time I go to look for a job I’m turned down because I’m not confident enough. When I talk to people, my voice becomes childlike. Tiny and soft. I’m afraid of what people think of me and I can never be myself.
Any time I’m with people I change myself to suit their personality and I hate it.

I hate myself for being so foolish. I hate my mother for being the way she is and for my grandmother abusing her. I hate how negative I am and how I’m so weak willed.
I want to stop being so hard on myself but I just don’t feel strong enough.

Please. Can you help me to love myself? And to trust myself and forgive myself and my mother?

Sorry for such a long rant and thank you so much for your time.

Best wishes, Melis.